Kyren Lacey tied for the lead for most touchdowns by a receiver in his final season at LSU. He was projected to be drafted into the NFL. Lacey died by suicide and was buried during the NFL draft.
I traveled with my 17-year-old son to a Hoop Group Tournament in Pittsburgh. Among the big brands, big body language, and big egos, there was an A-framed sign looking out of place. It read, "...Men break down. Men get anxiety... Men struggle too." The organization was Men's X Mental and its founder Teddy Sourlis, a former athlete, reportedly told his father that he wasn't making buckets any longer but instead was saving lives. 500,000 men die each year by suicide globally, equating to about 1 every minute. Men's X Mental exists to normalize MENtal health amount athletes.
Teddy told a story of working with a Division I athlete struggling with his mental health. Teddy encouraged him toward the counseling services offered by the University. The athlete said he would, but to access the services, he'd have to walk by his coach's office and he didn't want to appear weak.
On our walk back to the hotel, I told my son as a coach myself I couldn't imagine anything more heartbreaking that an athlete on our team, a member of our basketball family, feeling they couldn't reach out for help.
I've needed help. Blessed to have gone through a crisis season; the dark valley broke the false narrative I held of perceiving those who were struggling as not like us. An unbreakable leader applauded as steady, resilient, I was drowning, gasping, and flailing. Through God's grace, I had access to mental health resources and a community of men who are vulnerable enough to say they don't have it all together yet keep showing up to battle. The fight just looks different. It's not a battle to climb ladders and win no matter the cost. It's showing up daily, slaying the demons, fighting, and relying on a power greater than us (Phil 4:13).
Kyren Lacey's story might've ended different with just a few more moments of reconnecting to hope, to life. Teddy's organization encourages us to be a champion of hope, to be a light in the darkness. (John 1:5).
Columnist David K Israel lost many of his things in the California wildfires, including a valuable wine collection he was saving for the perfect moments. He no longer waits for the right moment. "There's no ceremony, no occasion, only the quiet understanding that life is short and things burn. And if you wait too long for the perfect moment, you might just miss the perfectly imperfect one standing right in front of you."
Let's not wait for the perfect moment to make a real change in the mental health crisis, particularly among men and notably among athletes. The perfectly imperfect moments right now are just the ones where we must reach out, check in, be vulnerable, ask for help, show up, and be heroes.
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